Post Text: This is a good storytelling ad. In terms of story, it’s excellent. It opens like you would with a joke or a story you might casually tell a coworker over coffee. Then it immediately introduces Curiosity by having us wonder, “Now why the hell would someone replace the diamond on their ring with a cheap substitute?”
The story is told in first person, which makes it super engaging and makes the story believable and relatable. (Wouldn’t you be curious if you were shopping around for a ring?) The storyteller also, at this point, assumes the role of a Private Eye, and calls the person who actually purchased the ring to ask if he knows what’s going on.
Now I’m curious, and I’m definitely not in the market.
Visual: Notice the photo of the girl holding up the ring is boring and plain. Hell, it might even be a bit stretched out.
What does this mean? It could be an indication that the media buyer in charge of the campaign determined that the story would do the main job of selling the product. An image that’s too good might detract from the drawing power of the story, although in my book, the photo should’ve gotten a lot more love and attention than this.
Headline: The Headline is a bit long. I would’ve started with, “Jewelers reveal…” The story itself is compelling. Unfortunately, it doesn’t use any paragraph breaks, so the text appears as a block, which can look overwhelming, especially when the target realizes it’s an ad. Don’t give your target extra work to do.
Description: I would’ve used one here to clean up the copy in the rest of the ad.
Notes: This was not written by a copywriter. The brand is “Rate my job”, and it seems to be a news site where people share their interesting work stories.